Alone But Not Lonely

My married cousins frown on my single status. They all think that there is something wrong with me because I'm nearing my thirties and I'm still single. Just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm miserable. People equate aloneness with loneliness. I seldom feel lonely.

What my friends and relatives don't know is that I love hanging out with myself. I love to eat by myself. I want to write by myself. I want to read by myself. A few years ago, before the streets of Cebu became too dangerous to walk alone, I used to stroll around the city by myself. Walking around the city allowed me to think and gain a different perspective on my life and on life in general.

I don't walk by myself anymore. I think it's more stressful than relaxing. The streets are polluted and there are no sidewalks for pedestrians. There are also more reckless drivers ( especially the motorcycle drivers ) who don't give a hoot about pedestrians. If I want to maintain my sanity, I'd rather drive or take a cab.

Anyway, I enjoy my own company. I can savor my food more if I'm alone. I don't have to force myself to engage in perfunctory conversation with a friend or with an acquaintance. I don't have to pretend to be nice to someone. In fact, I'm more at ease when I'm alone. But sometimes, I get bothered by the stares that I get especially the stares that I get from middle-aged, balding men. I don't know why I get stares from old men. They don't exactly stare anymore, they ogle. They make me feel so uncomfortable, but since this is a free country, I can't do anything about it.

I noticed that there are many women like me. There are single women out there who enjoy their own company. One time, I spotted a girl drinking her coffee and eating her pancakes all alone. She seemed relaxed somehow with her Ipod and cellphone as her companions. She seemed comfortable being alone. I've noticed other single women, dining alone. They all seem content.

A few years ago, it was a rare sight for a young woman to go out of her house without any companions. But today, you can see women driving their cars and shopping by themselves. Women now are more independent. Women have more choices. Women have more rights. Women no longer need a man to complete them.

I never thought that I would turn out to be an independent woman. Just a few years ago, I was very dependent on my family. You would never see me without any companions be it a relative, a classmate or a friend. I was never alone. But recently, I have come to enjoy a more independent lifestyle. I drive alone, I eat alone, and I shop alone.

People think that single women are lonely. We are not lonely. In fact, we enjoy a certain kind of freedom that other women can't experience. A single woman is free to choose wherever she wants to go. She has so many choices. A single woman may be alone but she is never lonely. She can never be lonely as long as she enjoys her own company.